UNUSUAL HOARD commission for cephalopodvictorious !!
Hey. Don’t just scroll past. Come back and watch this. You need it more than you know.
the time out of your day to watch this will not be wasted, I assure you.
Fucking watch this.
I don’t care what you’re doing right now or how busy you think you are.
Jesus christ, this is beautiful. I cried. I cried hard.
Please watch it. Stunning visuals, even more stunning poem.
I’m never going to get over this. Who else looks this adorable after firing a bazooka?
that was the best
Someone stuck a plunger on the back of a chicken FOR SCIENCE.
How do I get that job? Why was that career path never laid out for me when I was in middle school?
In Norwegian, you don’t refer to your romantic partner as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. You say “kjæreste”, which is gender neutral and literally translates to “the dearest”.
and in swedish you refer to your boyfriend/girlfriend by saying ”älskling” which translates into ”my beloved one”
And in Finnish we say “mulkvisti” which means “one I don’t hate as much as the others”
*squints at finland*
also, duct tape on your arms, a few layers, but not too tight. basically it’ll stop a zombie taking a chunk out of your arm if you’re reloading or your blade gets jammed in a zombie
wearing a wetsuit underneath your clothing would also be useful. remember; they were human once, humans have blunt teeth! you try biting through duct tape AND a wet suit
never duct tape joints, your movements will be limited, and you want to be fast and danger (gotta go fast)
don’t hole up in small houses either that’s a recipe for disaster, you want somewhere with a secure upstairs, and a way down from the upstairs that is zombie free or can easily be cleared of zombies (avoid fire exits with steps leading up to them though, unless they have gates at the bottom)
sound = attraction, so if you do have guns, use them only in emergencies or for the sake of popping one head you’ll be greeted with many many more
raid your local medical shops, and get there first, nobody is going to stop and share it out equally while they’re panicking. don’t hit out at somebody unless they hit out at you, though, you already have unintelligent corpses pitted against you, you don’t want sentient humans on your case as well (zombies don’t do the revenge thing, humans do!)
try not to piss people off, because as stated before, yes, humans like revenge
don’t try and be clever and use yourself as live bait; yes playing the hero is glorious in movies, but it doesn’t work so glamorously in real life
large numbers isn’t a good idea. you want small groups, even if you just branch out from being in a larger group, because if there’s a lot of you you are a bigger target, but don’t then go off and decide to be in groups that are too small in case you get surrounded (in which case, the duct tape and wet suits will come in handy)
food shouldn’t be that hard to come by, most people would have attempted to flee the area straight from their houses and packed what they had, raiding local shops could still be worth it. but remember, know your way in, your way out, and double check there’s nothing in the shop ready to sneak up behind you while you’re reaching up for that tin of beans
half balaclava masks or something similar to cover your lower face while fighting zombies could also be useful, you don;t want to accidentally ingest flying zombie fluids and end up one of them, that’d be a nasty surprise for your group to wake up to (since going solo possibly isn’t a good idea)
and always, ALWAYS, have a way to start a fire on you
I love my followers so you need to protect yourselves.
even better, defeat Pestilence before he can start the virus
This is relevant cause i’m in a zombie movie…
Axes and crowbars are not only perfect for killing zombies, they are also capable of breaking down secured doors.
And never ever ever travel at night. A zombie’s ability to hunt won’t be hindered by darkness, but yours will.
You guys make me scared that this is actually happening now..
why are people so educated on surviving something that has never happened?!?!?!!!
theres always the chance that it could happen. As I always say “Better safe than sorry.”
this is important
I like to think that when the zombie-esque apocalypse finally does happen, two people will run into each other at a store looking for wetsuits that fit. They eye one another carefully, both duct-taped, pointedly short-haired and carrying a crowbar and an axe each:
"Shoelaces?" "The president’s."
They nod, exchange experiences and part ways.